The Steam summer sale is underway which means it’s time to jointly empty our wallets for a bunch of games that will stay behind us to be joined later by even more unplayed games in the next big Steam sale. Reputable sites may recommend some of the prominent items such as Dying Light 2: Stay human which was released this year and has a 33% discount.
Not us, though. Fuck that noise.
We’ve moved to the very bottom of the list to pull out some of the weirdest choices we could find that you’ll spend your hard-earned money on. They are very strange, but they have positive reviews. Maybe they are actually good! I wouldn’t know! I didn’t play any of them. How about you tell us after you’ve played them?
Hideo Kojima… Tim Schafer… Franz Kafka. These are the brilliant minds you have in mind when it comes to writing and video games. This puzzle adventure game follows the writings of bohemian novelist and short story writer Franz Kafka. Some of the works used for this point-and-click are “The Castle”, “The Metamorphosis” and “America”. Touch things on the screen in the correct order as you face existential fear and question your place in this boring world. The game has a 90% discount if you put it under one dollar that you might even earn while playing it on your desktop computer, periodically checking Slack for new notifications.
I hate to shoot your balloon, but no, this is not what you think. This is Guess whoa style game in which you have a police lineup of suspects, and you get descriptive information from witnesses who may or may not be reliable. More importantly, the game comes from Edmund McMillen, creator of one of the most popular roguelike of all time—Isaac’s binding. This is very much seen in the disgusting design of the characters and the thick bold outlines. The game makes you finger the culprits and send them to an electric chair. Were you right? Eh … it’s not really your concern. This one also costs a little less than a dollar, so it also doesn’t matter much whether it’s that good or not. Great excuse to have a video game called Fingered in the library.
There are many obscure simulation games that put you on unique jobs like landscaping or a goat with a jetpack. Lumberjack dynasty do you embody a young lumberjack as the title implies that you have just moved to the valley to start your logging business. Pick firewood, build and design timber buildings, drive timber-carrying vehicles, get married (probably with wood), and have children (possibly made of wood) to take on a family business you started from scratch. These simulation games have never done much for me. Although this 50% makes me say, “hey … maybe!”
Okay, this is something you should actually seriously consider buying. This game is based on a true and fucked up program established in Nazi Germany that you can search for yourself on Google after reading this article. In the game, you will step into the shoes of adoptive parents Karin or Klaus. Read them goodnight stories, wash their faces, serve them breakfast and help them move around the world that hates them and that exists. There is a 30% discount on sale and this is the one on this list that I will most likely play honestly with. I mean, he beat Celeste (and Nintendo Labo?) For a BAFTA award. This is no small task.
Yes, that’s right. Apparently they are still creating Leisure suit Larry games. In 2020, we received the latest release starring this strange misogynist Dry wet dreams twice. To give an overview of what you’re getting into, the trailer opens with Larry complaining that he can’t get through the wooded area as a disembodied female voice asks, “When did a thick bush ever stop you?” It seems to mimic the LucasArts point-and-click style with circular solutions such as inflating a sex doll by sticking a lip valve into the end of a famous hole. I guess it’s a little simpler than using a monkey as a key because of the stupid puns. The game is a solid 75% which is 6% more than a game like this should have been.
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