Do you need friends? It’s an important question, because even if you don’t like the answer, it will dictate how you spend your time, what kind of relationships you develop, and how much effort you put into maintaining them. Do you wish that more people would be interested in spending time with you? Are there people who try to talk to you but feel like they don’t know what to say?
Do you think that most people are just in it for themselves and don’t have time to care about anyone else? If so, then this article may be one of the most important ones you’ll ever read.
Having many friends does not equate to being social
Having a large number of friends does not mean that you are able to sustain healthy relationships with those people. It’s called having a network, but not being social. We want people to like us and we want people to want to talk to us, but it means nothing if we don’t feel like these people know who we really are.
Making friends is time consuming and exhausting
If you think about it, having someone who is always there and makes time for you can be really difficult. Making friends takes a lot of time, effort, and energy, so why put in all that hard work if they may not stick around? It’s also exhausting to have people to rely on day-in and day-out because at the end of the day we’re human beings who just want some peace and quiet. And then there’s the awkward bye friend phase when a good thing turns sour.
Being an introvert is not about shyness
An introvert does not want to be around people all the time, but this doesn’t mean they’re shy. Introverts just require more solitude and personal space than extroverts. Furthermore, introverts are usually overstimulated by noise, large groups of people, and talking on the phone. Moreover, some might enjoy being around other people as much as an extrovert or even more but choose to shut down and avoid these situations when they become too much.
Where do I find someone I can trust?
I know it’s hard, but if we’re all honest with ourselves, we really only need one or two people in our lives who are willing to see us for who we really are and accept us as that. To me, this is the foundation of any type of relationship. We spend so much time trying to be someone for others, someone they want and not who we actually are that it becomes exhausting. The truth is the more we push away, the less likely they will be able to come back to us.
Who do I invite over when it’s just me?
It’s okay to be happy on your own time. If a friend wants to see you but you’re feeling down, have them leave so that they can come back when they know you’re in a better mood. I would recommend an actual pet or stuffed animal instead of people because pets won’t judge you or try to cheer you up if you just want to feel bad for a little while. Pets are more likely to listen and not speak unless it’s about something really important.
How many friends do I need?
Instead of worrying about how many friends you have, figure out what the most important qualities in a friendship are for you – kindness? companionship? humor? – and make sure to put them into your friendships with people other than your family members.
Keeping up with everyone takes a lot of effort
Starting a new business will consume your life and that can leave little time for your old friends. Plus, it’s not just about having someone to talk to – new businesses take up all of your free time so you won’t have the energy to find anyone. Trying to get back into a social life after starting your own business can be nearly impossible.
Meeting new people means also running into acquaintances, old flames, etc.
People will come into your life for various reasons, some that make your life better, and others that might complicate it. More often than not, it is not easy to tell the difference until it’s too late. Learning to separate the wheat from the chaff will take time and effort – though thankfully is a skill worth mastering in order to increase your chances of success and happiness. And who better to help you discern one from the other than yourself?
